Eyeshadow and cookies

It started out like any other morning. Woke up to two toddlers climbing on the bed with empty bellies exaggerating their desperate need for food. 

      "Five more minutes" I plea to my kids. Emilie my youngest and my hungriest starts pulling the blankets off the bed. It's really a scene from any typical household with teenagers on a Wednesday morning before a day at high-school as a sophomore, except, it's mom begging for more time, hiding under the pillow with the desperate need to pee. You know that feeling of a million needles stabbing your bladder, ya you do, don't lie. I'm up! Ok my tushie, as its called in my house, is up. Kids fed, coffee made and suddenly a boss babe power comes over me and I decide it'll be a great day to shower and do a YouTube tutorial. Full confidence and the idea that this video will make me a "super-star" and catapult me through the cyber world as a makeup guru.....I honestly had more of a realistic version in my head. Something more like, I'll record this video, it'll be a 4 maybe a 5 out of ten, I'd edit it the next day and by Monday I'd have social media content covered and FINALLY a video tutorial. I've been silently dreading a video. My skills are less than optimal, even though I feel I've watched a million videos on how to make one and edit it. I've got the phone set up in rear facing mode with a mirror to the opposite side so I can make sure I stay in frame. I chose to do it this way so I could use the zoom feature on my eye and really capture the detail of the eyeshadow application. Trying to be very professional, perfect and intentional brushstrokes, with correct application- in an attempt to get my seneblends mua, I really wanted the video and application to look better than amazing. Today's look was intended to be a blue ombre technique. Now, being this is my first actual blog, you as my reader are most likely unaware that my thoughts on blue eyeshadow on MY eye lids makes me instantly feel like "Meme". If you are of the younger generation and have no idea who that is, here is a  link. Now this is just my personal feeling of blue on me. However, i saw this  look I wanted to recreate and my mind was stuck on the look. In the midst of the video, my hungriest daughter is laying on the bed half dressed as usual, playing her leap frog.  Her lack of clothes or leap frog gaming wouldn't have been such a big deal as the camera frame was zoomed in on my eye so close the grey hair on the back of my head was visible.  It was an issue because she wasn't quiet at all. Internally I'm starting to boil as I don't know for sure how to edit the video so the back ground noise is muted. By now she's stated "mommy,  I tooted" yes dear they heard! and all very quickly my genius plan to make a tutorial is going down the tubes. She starts hollering "I'm hungee, I'm hungee", shortly there after here comes dad asking if I know how to "set something up" and my oldest child is bringing me weird odds and ends from the couch as her and daddy are rearranging the living room furniture and cleaning. We all know that crap that falls down into the couch, yes, that was the stuff she was bringing me. 

    (Deep breaths) "just finish the last bit of your eye" I tell myself. In the attempt that my new followers are better able to see what it is I'm doing I filmed my video looking down into a mirror, as I finish, well almost finish just need to do the eyeliner I look up. Dear God, why did I record looking down. Why, someone please tell me why. I look up, and because I have hooded eyes I apply my shadow slight higher than the crease of my eye and out, when looking down the shadow looks fabulous until I look up and realize I'm now looking exactly like " Meme" This is where I start to really feel discouraged, self doubt creeps in, negative thoughts- BREAK THE MIRROR, clearly its the mirror. No honestly, I was feeling defeated. Except, it was just beginning, NOTHING recorded or somehow I managed to delete it. Now I'm done, just can't deal with it at all anymore. Not one ounce or second recorded, so I really have no idea how it turned out with this angle and set up. I wiped half the eye look off. If your familiar with  shadowsense  you know it doesn't just wipe off, so that was a task in itself. Normally having your eyeshadow stuck in place is a good thing. Screw it, I slap on the right eye with the mind set of I'm not leaving the house so who cares attitude and leave my room. My husband is so confused, my head is basically spinning on its axis. Smoke is pouring out of my nose and ears and I'm pretty sure my eyes were a deep deep shade of green, the black kind of green. He's so happy go lucky, picking up toys, shampooing a stain out of the carpet, playing with the girls and I'm just pouting because my third attempt ever to record a video, didn't record and my eye makeup looks ridiculous. Straight up pouting. I wrapped myself in a blanket and proceeded down the scroll hole of facebook for the next 30 minutes. Swearing off tutorials, videos, absolutely no YouTube. We broke up, finished. Except like every crazy ex girlfriend I found myself creeping back watching other tutorials on how to do better tutorials. Gah, make the madness stop. In an attempt to appease my sour attitude I decide a candy bar would the cure. Nothing fancy just chocolate. That will completely fix my mood. So now, as my husband makes spinach on the stove (insert gag reflux) I'm scouring through the pantry, every cupboard in site, literally I went through every cupboard trying to find that bite size snickers bar that got tossed to the back at Halloween. Nothing, absolutely no chocolate in this house. It's like a woman doesn't even live here. 

 Mike is now laughing at my "woman on a mission" persona, while snacking on that horrendous vegetable. I find powdered cocoa and the genius I am decides  No -bake(find recipe here) cookies will do the trick. And yes I encouraged mikes help, I was still battling my inner pouting diva and just wanted to eat the junk food, not make it. Here's the kicker. As we are cooking these No Bake cookies, my hair is getting in the way. (That's a whole other blog) I'm about 3 hours into a normal pms cycle away from shaving it off. Instead I grab a pony holder and starting to get my cheery mood back I put my long hair up into a high side pony. Total 80s style, and mind you my eyes are blue....... Mike looks at me with total seriousness and says, and I quote "that looks cute". I give up y'all. I didn't even do mascara, lips, blush.  Makeup isn't even half way done. Just eyes and contour. Now I have an 80s side pony and look ridiculous and he's got a school boy crush going on.

Remember when I said I wrapped up in the blanket,  well i took it with me sarong style to the kitchen.

Whatever, just give me a cookie. Oh guess what, you have to wait for them to cool and get hard if you want an actual cookie or you can be mike and sneak spoonfuls when the wife isn't looking.

Moral of the story.....i have none. I'm still waiting on the cookies to get hard before I get another boost of boss babe take over. Maybe then my next genius plan will work. If not I'll write another blog and tell you all about it!!!!